Whose side am I on??

Ever since the terror attack on Mumbai i had been deeply interested in the relationship between India and Pakistan. I had always had the opinion that Kashmir should be a part of India and Pakistan should rightfully hand it over to us. Now this was a highly biased opinion because it was solely based on the fact that I'm a very proud Indian and highly ignorant at the same time(I'm at the far end). I never thought India could have done anything wrong and it's the fault of Pakistanis alone that our relationship has gone from bad to worse. Also i never gave a thought what Kashmiris might be thinking, i took it for granted that they all wanted to be a part of India.( Yeah i know,totally oblivious!! )

What has changed my belief now?? As some guy once said, "Whenever in doubt, Just Wiki!! " I did just that. The thing with wiki, as we all know, is once we get started it is a chain reaction,you just cant help jumping from link to link. I landed here in my quest to understand the situation more closely. I had started here (the link) and just wandered off!


The issue has become so complicated over the years, than it was at the time of independence, that the solution will require the two nations to follow a very tight line if they the interests of the Kashmiris are to be protected, rather than their own.

As of now i don't have a firm opinion like i used to,partly because I'm a not so ignorant "i-feel -responsible" kind of Indian now. All i feel is empathy for those innocent people of Kashmir. I'm unsure about what i can do to amend the situation.Sadly like any ideal citizen I'll also sit and wait for the two governments to do something. And pray the new generation, of whom I'm a also a part of, will show more character and resolve the issue that has eaten the subcontinent for more than half a century. Even though it looks like a far cry,after reading the articles, i still hope I'll be able to see the situation adjudicate.

What is the instant solution? As the leftist might voice, "We need a goddamn revolution!!". Revolution perhaps not at the political level but in of our hearts our perspectives . So the question "Whose side am i on?" becomes irrelevant, because whoever i/we may support it wont be of any real consequence because our cause is one,Freedom!!

The Hard Way

Hours of inactivity combined with the realization of the myriad activities to be completed has left me in a state of psychotic illusionary perceptive and insane self containment. Was listening to this song by Fort Minor - The Hard Way

Come with me
Let me walk in through the world that I currently stay in
You can take a look around and tell me if I’m mistaken
You can even talk to everybody that I live with
Maybe you could tell me why everybody’s so distant
Is it me or maybe, when I look around daily
I don’t even know the people I can put my trust in lately
People that I used to hang with now their actin’ to different
I’m still the same person why doesn’t anybody listen
Can somebody please just explain to me
What happened to the way that we always said we’d be
Right now I don't know why I push through the pain that I got through
And I’m losin’ hope

[chorus]
Deafening voices
That frequency inside my head that says
I’m going at it the hard way I focus
Get everything inside out of my brain that claims
I’m going at it the hard way

Come with me
Let me walk in through the world that I currently live in
Not a thing is forgotten, not a thing is forgiven
Nobody can hold their own underneath the weight but
Nobody can take the blame for their own mistakes so
What do you do when somebody lets you down
And you wanna say something but you can’t cause their not around
Inside you think they know the extent of the pain
But they won’t even admit that they were the one to blame
Can somebody please just explain to me
What happened to the way that we always said we’d be
Cause right now I don't know why I push through the pain that I got through
And I’m losin’ hope

[chorus]

Voices in my head

Can somebody please just explain to me
What happened to the way that we always said we’d be
Right now I dunno why I push through the pain that I got through
And I’m losin’ hope, give me one reason not to

[chorus]

Why this song? It's just that the song can easily correlate to the state of mind I'm in now, in a lot of different ways, the confusion surmounting on top of insecurity, the despair coming with loss of trust and hope and the lack of clarity in thought. Jeez!! I'm learning the hard way, the only way i know!

After the wedding!

Spoiler Alert:This post may contain spoilers.

Me just saw the film After The Wedding for the second time and certainly this wont be the last. It's amazing how small we are in terms of thought when it comes to defining relationships and most importantly love.

I felt meek after watching the film. It made me think with a different perspective. Its films like these that help us grow, think, come out of the puerile self we are. People like the characters in the movie makes you believe even ordinary people can be larger than life. Whatever is past has passed and no point in brooding over it or blaming someone. The film gave a certain sense of bliss and pain at the same time which just soothes you out and makes you ask questions to yourself. The extra ordinary simplicity with which the director deals with the characters and their complicated relationships is amazing. A work of absolute genius! The film portrays the subtlety in how interdependent we human are. The audacity of the male protagonist in this antagonist-less movie, in facing his death and the prudence and resolve to keep his family secure is remarkable.

Even after the movie ends you just want it to go on. It made me think,"What would have you done if it were me?" Only time will tell...

Life

It's amazing how much people change with time and place. Four years back i was a little kid having a lot of aspirations in his mind and carrying a bag load of expectations on his shoulder. Well.. after this time period i wont say i have managed to fullfill everyones expectations but i believe its important that i'm satisfied with myself,which i'm. The aspirations are still alive and kicking if not with even more vigor than before. 

Feeling satisfied and living under the shelter of this satisfaction is not life. Getting satisfied with your result and striving harder to make things better is important. Complacency is a killer.You should know that when you become complacent and take the back seat there is no coming back. Its inevitable that someone younger and more potent will come along and kick you out of your chair.

People say Karma is the way to be. But is that really possible? I was talking to this senior employee of ISRO one day and he adviced me to strive hard without depending on the end result..But if i'm not wanting anything then will i work hard? Doesnt my effort depend wholly on the expectation of reaping a greater reward in the future?? I'm not questioning the integrity of anyone here but i'm asking myself what i want to be... A hypocrite or a true Karmic? i might never find out.. i'm also a part of the society and my life depends on a lot of others and vice versa. 

I'm nearing the end of the golden part of my life. I've had a lot of fun all these years and found great peers and learned a lot about life. Now its time to get my priorities straight and clear. I'll have to prepare myself to face the upcoming challenges in life, be optimistic about it and fine tune myself into a more sound individual capable of keeping his head on his shoulders.